Renaissance Fair
by Watcher789
Summary: Kylo Ren and General Hux visit a Renaissance Fair with their lady loves.


It was one of those rare days that the little men of the order had achieved their wish. Yes the order had allowed their troopers to choose their company's picnic location. To no one's surprise they had chosen a warm planet. What did surprise Snoke was the event. It was primitive. They had landed on the planet Pendragon with their esteemed guests. The Princess Sommer and her lady, Simone, were given invitation to encourage good relations.  
They landed in the traditional spaces provided by the planet. This was simply a vacation planet. It was fairly new but catching up in popularity. The stormtroopers had decided this was the perfect place to lay down their guns for the day and take pleasure in the cultural faire.  
The ship lowered its ramp. General Hux began to march down but he mistakenly stumbled on a stray leg. Said leg belonged to Kylo Ren.  
"You should watch your step, general," he mocked. Several coughs were being covered up by the troops. Armitage shot the masked man a harsh glare. Before he could respond Phasma reminded them that they were ordered to disembark the ship.  
"Quite right," Hux straitened and matched his pace with Kylo where they waited at the bottom. The troops marched down in an orderly fashion. Until they touched the ground. Then they were gone in a flurry of dust. Phasma groaned. Their white armor was going to need a hose at the end of this adventure. She was waiting for her turn to join them. But as a leader she needed to wait for the princess and her lady. The two woman had appeared at the top of ramp. The princess had on a royal blue dress, complete with a black corset and silver trimmings. Her neckline exposed just enough of her ample bosom. Hux could feel his throat go dry. He quickly strode up the ramp to escort her down. He could feel the Lady Simone's glare on him as he practically ripped her from her chaperone. Simone took the time to adjust her own modest outfit. Her own black and white corset covered her well. She shifted her green skirts that complimented her red hair. She balanced on her heels with practiced ease. That is until she stumbled at the bottom. She gasped as she felt a hand catch hers. She could almost hear the smirk on his face.  
"Most unbecoming."  
"So is hiding behind a mask," she ripped her arm back.  
"Stop! Your flirting is driving me nuts," Sommer massaged her braided head.  
"Flirting," Simone spluttered. "No." Kylo just watched in amusement.  
"We are here for fun. Not to bicker," she took her general's arm. Her skirts swayed at her hips. "We must get you two in costume as well." Hux simply nodded. He intended to dress as this culture's king to match his future queen.  
They led the way to the entrance. The line was horribly long. It looked as if most of the army was here. Kylo was severally annoyed. He began to order them to make way for them. They hadn't even noticed that Phasma had joined her troops.  
"Make way," he barked. In fear of pain an suffering they parted to allow them entry.  
"I feel like a princess," Sommer giggled.  
"No you're my queen," he put an emphasis on "my". Simone rolled her eyes at the display. This was going to be a long day. She was glad she chose against styling her hair. She would've ruined it with hair pulling.  
The smell of animal urine was the first thing to greet them. The princess hurried them past the animal rides. The open market that resembled an old world greeted them. Both ladies had their eyes on purchasing something for today. Hux began leading them to the open costume shops. Kylo had followed them. He didn't want to leave the object of his attention alone. Not that the lady even noticed but it was better than her being the third wheel. He was also being paid to prevent the lady from "cock blocking". As modest as her costume was, it still attract many wandering eyes.  
"That one," Sommer pointed to a black and silver tunic. It was paired with black pants that left room for a primitive sword to be looped in at the hip. He smirked.  
"Anything for my queen," he spoke seductively into her ear. Kylo boredly looked around. Nothing here fitted the nights of old. Why would a metal sword intrest him when he could slice through it. It seemed that his opinion was unpopular as the lady also complimented the newly clad general.  
They headed back to the gravel road. Hux had wanted a crown for the both of them. It didn't take long to find a hat shop. Simone had even commented on the amount of costume stores here. Hux pulled the princess in with him. Simone scoffed and chose to look at the jewelry shop across the way. Kylo followed as he had nothing else to do but look intimidating. Simone boredly looked at the metal rings and necklaces. She hated how picky she was. It made shopping hard. The seller was being overly friendly. He had tried to say that certain pieces would make her look like a lady. Simone hid her amusement and walked out just in time to be blinded by two silver crowns. Even Kylo covered his mask.  
"Compensating much," he mocked. Hux and Sommer had chosen a pair of gem encrusted crowns. The sterling silver was blinding.

"I find it dashing," he was entranced in his fantasy. Simone looked at the smile that her future queen had and sighed. This was a losing battle and she had the gut feeling that she would either be ditched or commanded to leave her presence soon. It was now obvious that this was a date.

"You look wonderful," Simone complimented. Sommer had a devious look in her eye.

"I think we should split up," Simone's heart stopped. In every horror story told the group split up.

"Wonderful," Hux didn't wait for an answer. Sommer called back.

"We will see you at the Jousts," and before the lady could answer the princess was lost in a sea of troopers.

"Great," she muttered. Now she was stuck with someone she was sure that hated her. "What do you want to do," she asked the tall figure beside her. She turned and saw him walking away. "Really," she groaned. He stopped and looked back.

"Are you coming? Or do I have to carry you," he asked her.

"Of course not," she sputtered as she caught up to him. "You just walk too fast."

"As you say my lady," he said dryly.

Sommer and Hux were having a good time. They had already hit a few of the "taverns" and where now shopping. Sommer had purchased some art for her palace and gifts for her parents. She was hopping the gifts might appease their unease over this trip. They were now making out behind the petting zoo. She had wanted to go farther but had not wanted to ruin her clothing or her hair. Hux hated the filth of the place as well. It was mid kiss when a boy dressed as a page approached them.

"My queen, there you are. You are to attend your garden party."

"Excuse me," Sommer asked.

"You and his lordship are to attend," he pressed. He quickly began pulling them. "You mustn't be late," he urged.

"I think you have the wrong," Hux was interrupted.

"You found them," a female called happily.

"Just in time," the boy tutted.

"I'm Abby," the girl smiled. Her golden hair bounced as she spoke. "I had heard that the new king and queen would be a couple. You're so cute together," she kept gushing.

"This is," Sommer started.

"Hurry we need to start," She pushed the princess into a chair. "The gates open soon. Act royal," she gave the princess a thumbs up before running to the general. "You need to be at the gates to great them. Gah! We are so behind. Jock," she called to the boy. "Get his highness to the gate." Jock pulled Hux to the garden's gate. Hux groaned. He could see a lot of his men there. Their armor was indeed dusty. Jock placed him and ran off before checking to see if he knew his lines. He threw on his best leader face.

"General," it instantly dropped.

"Captain Phasma," he replied. The chrome armor gleamed.

"This is just gold," she laughed.

"Shut-up," he scolded. "I can have your head."

"No. General Hux can have my head. You on the other hand are King Hux of the Pendragon Fair." She was laughing heartily. He could hear the snapping of his image being saved on their mobile devices. Honestly his men had this much time for gossip. He could see a few of them dancing drunkly around a tavern wench.

"I will get you for this later."

"Whatever your highness," she snorted.

"Hey get the show started," Jock hissed to him.

"Right," he hissed back. "Welcome to Queen Sommer's royal garden," he opened his arms merrily. He was going to need his cat to comfort him after this.

Simone was having a difficult time. She had no idea how a children's song to be so effective but now she was seeking refuge in the form of a portable toilet. It had been hard enough finding one without lines. Kylo had followed her silently. She had figured he was mocking her by the way he followed. Her eyes lit up. Finally. She had just spotted salvation when she heard a voice. Of course someone had to come between her and her release. She rolled her eye's before turning and facing the voice. A man in costume as a pirate had called to her. He appeared to be only a decade older than herself.

"Yes," she answered politely.

"My beautiful red lady. You are in need of a flower." the man showed his basket that contained many intriguing flowers. He plucked a red one from his basket and held it out to her. She took it politely. Kylo glowered. She didn't belong to that man. She thanked the man and went on her way towards the bathroom. She placed the flower by the entrance and walked in.

Kylo waited till the lady was out of sight. He grabbed the rose and crushed it. A red rose didn't suit her anyway. Wild flowers were more her. It felt good to break something. It had been a while since he had. This morning I was two hours ago. He disposed of the mush in the nearest trash bin.

She had not taken long to return. The last thing she needed was Kylo burning in the hot sun. Or worse. Breaking everything. She went out to pick up her gifted flower only to find it missing. Who steals a flower? She was at a loss but Kylo was the priority. He was a mess waiting to happen.

"He has to be a droid," she thought to herself. Her answer came in the figure covering her with a shadow. "There you are. I was worried that I would have to pay for damages." He only shrugged.

"Come on. I don't need you fried in that. Let's get you a drink. Hopefully they have straws since you have a phobia of showing your face," she said dryly as she once again took the lead. When she felt hungry she had ordered the large poultry leg. It wouldn't be ladylike but it's not like anyone here realized her true status to begin with. That didn't stop Kylo Ren from mocking her.

"Slob," he began. "Raised in a barn," he asked.

"Back off. No one sees you eat anyway," she reminded. It went on like that for a while. Kylo realized that he himself was getting hungry.

"I'll meet you at the joust," he spoke. Simone looked at him weirdly then shrugged.

"Fine but that's in half an hour," she barely spoke as he turned his back. Rude. "Fine. I'll choose a front row seat," she called to him. She may be scared that he intended to kill her but it was still better than sitting alone on a planet surrounded by strangers and storm troopers. She watched his retreating back before getting up to toss her bone. She had decided to get a seat now raither than later.

Kylo had just removed his helmet to eat when a man stormed up to him.

"Kyle you are late."

"Kylo."

"The application says Kyle," he grunted. "Kids these days. Can't spell their own names," he complained. "You are Kyle. Kid had has a scar from a jump rope accident and you're dressed in black. In other words you are Kyle." Kylo was at a loss. This old man had to be senile. "Get your ass to work."

"You do not speak to me like that," Kylo warned. He was beginning to raise his hand when the tanned man grabbed his arm and yanked him up.

"I can speak to my employees however I wish," he spat in Kylo Ren's face. Kylo flinched at the slobber and wiped his face. Before he could blink he was pushed onto a black tauntaun and sped off into another direction. The princess was having a grand time.

"My darling," she accepted cake fed to her from Hux.

"Is it too sweet," he asked with concern.

"It's perfect." Their flirting had quickly become part of the act. People were engrossed by it. The troopers were eating up the act as if it were magic. They now sat upon a large throne and cuddled slightly. It was a dream. If only it could be this easy for them to marry.

"My queen," he spoke huskily. Sommer's eyes lit up. She would reward him well tonight. The boy dressed as a page returned to end the party.

"My lords and ladies it is time for the royal joust," he bowed to his king and queen. "I shall lead your parade." There were horns blown and before the two knew it, they were being led in a merry parade. He linked his arm with her's and she leaned on his arm.

"This is the best date ever," she smiled. He smiled back at her.

"I know. Let's just hope we aren't caught." She snuggled his arm and looked ahead. She was feeling frisky and he knew it. "He rubbed his thumb on her palm knowingly. He whispered promises in her ear.

"I think we could sneak away fast enough and get to an empty ship," she smiled at her suggestion. He groaned in want.

"You slay me."

"I know."

"My lords and ladies," Jock interrupted them. "I present the Queen Islean and King Helric." The stands lit up with applause. Hux helped his queen into her throne before taking his own. He intertwined his hand with hers and squeezed it. Simone gasped from her seat. What was going on and where the hell was Kylo.

"Let's begin the joust my lords and ladies with introducing the Knights of the Tauntaun," he announced. Four painted tauntaun practically flew into the center of the arena. Hux was instructed to stand as he was to greet his royal knights. Each knight was dressed head to toe in colored armor. It was primitive but impressive.

"The green knight, Sir Lantic, is known for his wit." Sir Lantic bowed to his nodding king. The crowd cheered heartily. "He saved many who were to beheaded unjustly." The crowd awed in interest.

"The white knight, Sir Murden, is a hero to children," the crowd was confused as to why there was a storm trooper as a knight. "He saved poor Timmy who was stuck in a well." The troopers cheered. The whispers around had told everyone what had happened. This trooper had won a raffle for this place. Hux nodded to this "knight" as well.

"The yellow knight, Sir Droct, is a hero to fair maidens. He had saved many from certain death," most of the cheers this time were from women and children.

"Lastly we have our returning champion," the blue knight stood proud. "The blue knight," the cheers had reached a new volume. "Sir Asago, the courageous. He led our armies to victory in many a battle," Jock announced. The knight dramatically bowed. Hux bowed back in respect. "Let the tournament begin." The knights mounted their steeds and began to prance around the stadium. Each were handed a flower to give to a maiden. Hux sat down and smirked to his queen. Soon. Simone watched the event boredly. Sure enough the yellow knight handed his rose to the busty blonde girl. The trooper had handed his to Phasma.

"Was this supposed to be bribery," Simone wondered to herself. The blue one had just stopped before her. She was confused. The busty girl was a few seats over. He reached for the rose but as soon as he reached for it a black tauntaun flew over the fence. The stadium gasped.

"It is the black knight," Jock gasped. The people gasped in shock. Even the repeating customers were thrown through a loop. The tauntaun trotted towards the blue knight.

"You're a disgrace, Thiorn," the blue knight scowled.

"That is Sir Thiorn to you," the black knight spoke. The black tauntaun ripped the rose from his hand. It began to eat it with an innocent look upon its face. Simone watched in awe as the black knight pulled flowers from behind his cloak.

"My lady," he spoke. "Would you do me the honor of taking my token," Simone took the wild flowers gently.

"I would," she blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear. The knight nodded before turning his steed to the center.

"I wish to play," he spoke to the king.

"This I will allow," Hux nodded. The other knights wanted to object. "My word is law," Hux commanded before taking his seat. He waited with his queen. The act called for the blue and black knight to joust last. The horns grew loud as the final act sounded. He had wanted to escape with his queen but something was off about the black knight. It was beyond acting. It was cool and calculated. It bothered him that he couldn't see the face. It was like he knew him. Then it clicked.

"Why is Kylo on a tauntaun," Sommer asked just as he figured it out.

"Why are we here," he quipped.

"Bad management," she sighed. The last two knights faced each other. Each had a perfect score.

"It has come to the final match," Jock announced. "If Sir Thiorn wins this match then he will regain his honor and take the lead as the new general in Sir Asago's place," Jock said to move the people. There were many gasps and boos towards the black knight. Most didn't believe that was how it worked but they were caught up in the drama anyway. The two knights faced each other before the horn sounded. Everyone was on the edge of their seat. Simone held the flowers to her chest protectively. The animal's feet were loud as they pounded against each other. The sound of a lance shattering tore into the air. The blue knight was knocked off his steed. The black tauntaun trotted happily. Jock was speechless. The black knight was supposed to lose. It was scripted. The black knight dismounted and passed the blue knight.

"You're tauntaun is mine," he said referring to the rules of jousting. Simone cheered happily in the sea of boos. "My king," he bowed slightly. Very slightly towards the general.

"My new champion," Hux announced. "Would you kindly remove your helmet," he asked. There was a pause and then a throat clearing.

"It would bring disgust to show my disfigured face," the knight answered. The general nodded.

"Very well," this confirmed his belief.

"Rematch," the blue knight yelled.

"No. I won fair and square," the black knight yelled. Hux and Sommer took the time to sneak away.

"I demand a rematch. I'm sure you cheated."

"Accept your loss with pride."

"Let the king decide. My king," the question died in his throat.

"It seems that this is your answer," the black knight mounted his steed and trotted it away from the stadium. Simone smiled as she watched the knight leave with dignity. Wild flowers? These flowers grew strong without any aid. She loved the flowers instantly. She decided to wait at the stands as they cleared. Where else was she to meet anyone. It appeared that Sommer and Hux went on their lust filled adventure and Kylo had not made it to the joust but that didn't mean he wouldn't show up. It sucked to be abandoned. Even if it was an asshole from the order.

"Lady Simone," a voice broke through her thoughts.

"Where have you been," she almost yelled at him.

"I got lost," Kylo excused himself.

"You missed the joust," she accused. "The most dashing knight gave me these," she showed off her prize.

"I care? Why," he asked. She frowned.

"You're right. You don't," she turned away but smiled at her flowers. Simple yet strong. "Too bad. I wanted to see his face."

"Let's go. The park closes in three hours and I don't want to be here for the drunk trooper march." He didn't want to mention his hunger.

"Yeah," she sighed. He led her back to their ship and up the ramp. Just inside the ship, stood a white painted tauntaun.


End file.
